Written by Jay Johnson
Art by Chris Watts

If you’re not into oral sex, there are one of three things going on: you aren’t into your partner enough to explore it, you’ve never experienced an orgasm from from it, or you have no idea what you’re doing down there. Whatever the case may be, we at HolyFour know that with the right information and practice, everyone benefits from oral sex.

If you’re a “giver” during sex, I’m sure you have no problem with going down on your partner, as it stimulates you, to satisfy them — that’s me too. But if you’re a “taker” or what we like to call a “pillow princess,” you can learn to please your partner with some head action every now and again and, you too, can experience the joys of slurping up all that goodness. If you’ve never had good head or climaxed from it, please have your partner read this blog so they can find out just what to do when the time comes (it’ll greatly enhance your love-making experience). And if you are just a little on the timid side and haven’t gone “downtown,” perhaps this will open you up to some new and helpful information that’ll give you the confidence to explore it! Let’s get to it!

First things first, let’s get some medical terminology down so we are clear on the basics of female reproductive anatomy. The Vagina is actually the canal that connect the uterus to the outside world; it’s where penetration happens. For oral sex there is some vaginal play that can enhance the orgasm (which we’ll get to later), but the main course is served elsewhere. The Vulva is the outside of the female genitalia and it contains the labia, clitoris, vaginal opening and opening to the urethra (no two vulvas look alike, but they all have these same parts). Let’s break those parts down even more, shall we? The labia are the “lips” and there are two sets of them, inner and outer. Not much stimulation is felt on these parts as not many nerve endings are there. They’re basically cosmetic. The vaginal opening is [obviously] the opening to the vagina. It’s where the juices flow from and it is where you wanna go if you’re looking to hit those G-spots. The opening to the urethra is simply where you pee; no need to focus any sexual attention there, as it will prove to be fruitless. Finally the Clitoris (clit)! This is where you want to focus all of your oral attention because this is the pleasure point. It’s has a “hood” covering it and is made up of soft spongey material that swells during arousal. It also has tens of thousands of nerve endings (more than any other part of the body) simply to make you feel good! Some clits are small like a pea and others can be as big as a finger! What most people don’t know it that the clit actually extends deep into the vaginal walls (about five inches to be exact) which is called the “shaft.” I’ve always said that [we] ladies just have our “penises” on the inside with the tip exposed, ha! Great, now that you’re clear on the parts, lets get to the fun stuff!

I think what confuses most people and the question most have is: How do I start this act of oral pleasure with my partner? In other words, “where do I begin?” Thats a great question. Women have the most explosive orgasms when there is just enough of a ‘build’ leading up to it. Men (some, not all) and some inexperienced women are very good at “wham-bam-thank you ma’am,” but that isn’t going to produce an earth-shattering orgasm. With women, you have to take your time, tease a bit, caress, and stroke before all the whamming and bamming. Start by kissing the inner thighs (both sides) gently with maybe a little sucking, working your way closer and closer to her lips. This is sure to drive any woman crazy with desire as it’s close, but not close enough. Then move to the taint area (that’s the part we didn’t cover, and it’s between the anus and the vaginal opening) which also has lots of nerve endings. Kiss and lick the taint area and you are sure to cause stimulation that produces some wetness. Next, work your way around the outer lips with more kisses. The point here is to ‘make-out’ with her lower body and make her squirm with anticipation. Holding in your need to rush to the finish will greatly intensify the height of this event. Once you have built up enough of a sexual tension and she is squirming and wet, you are ready to move on to the clit..

As I mentioned earlier, the clit has many many nerve endings and is covered by a hood (to protect from over stimulation or injury). It is easy to find the clit as it’s right where the lips meet at the top of the vulva. If you aren’t sure you’ve found it, lick around softly until you feel the little ‘man in a boat.’ Once you have located the ultimate pleasure point, push back the hood to expose the clit, with your tongue. You’ll know when this happens as your partner should let out a moan upon contact. What you do from here is entirely up to you and your female partner. This is where you have to listen and feel for what she likes. Women will moan and gyrate at the feel of something that arouses them, it simply can’t be helped. So pay close attention to what reactions you get from different movements you make. Some women enjoy soft kissing and licking on their clit, others like more pressure and circular motions. Some fancy a little suction on their ‘button’ and others enjoy swift flicks of the tongue against their exposed sweet spot. Try it all and see what she responds to. Most of the time, working at speeds that are slower in the beginning and faster near the end, will really prove to be rapturous for ladies. Keep in mind that each woman is different and will require different stimuli to reach the pinnacle.

Now let’s talk about teeth.. I know we’re all used to using our teeth where our mouths are involved, but not here! If you’re wondering why, the answer is simple. Because of the thousands of nerve endings located in the clitoris, the sharp, scraping of teeth can be painful to the entire vulva area. To avoid using your teeth simply cover them with your lips. You know, like when you mimic an old lady or old man with no teeth, it’s exactly the same. Cover those pearly whites with those lips before going down. This goes for suction as well. The worst thing you can do is vigorously suck on your partner, scraping with your teeth and asking, “does that feel good, baby?” She’ll be thinking, “no, it feels a shark just bit me in the pussy!” So, wrap your teeth with enough lip to make it a soft contact and remember to be gentle with the most sensitive parts.

The last thing to address with the Cunnilingus topic is style. Style is everything when you are love-making and you definitely want to develop your own. It’s what makes you unique and will give you confidence as you add to your ‘style portfolio’ over time. Style is the way you begin, the tools you use, the speed, the pressure and the finish, all combined into one act, that leaves your lady friend satisfied and mesmerized. Some things to consider in the style category are dual-stimulation, triple-stimulation, hot/cold sensations, pause-and-go actions, speed variations, and pressure changes. These will all boost the final outcome of gratification for the receiver of this bless-ed service.

When talking in terms of dual-stimulation, the most common is vaginal penetration during head service. Finding that G-spot either with a dildo, G-spot vibrator or your fingers, will provide almost unbearable pleasure for your lady. Be careful with this one though, she might be a squirter — and that’s a whole other topic to explore. The other, not-so-common duo, is giving head with a finger or anal toy in the anal cavity. Yup! Up the ass! Taking it to the next level, is triple-stimulation! That’s where there’s a finger or toy in both the vagina and the ass, while in the act of sucking that delicious nectar. A double dildo would work wonders in this case! And boy does that cause some extreme stirring in the lower half of the body!

Now going into hot/cold sensations, this serves to extend the climax as the heat will build it up and the cold will take it away. Consider ice in a cup near the bed and when you feel her nearing the peak, place a piece in your mouth and press it against her swollen yoni. She’ll love the sensation as you remove the ice and get back to work, bringing back the heat. Doing this a couple of times will tease and prolong the waves from rushing in, but once they rush, it’ll be a tsunami. If ice is too much trouble, I’ve also resorted to blowing (hard) against the swollen clit. This cooling tactic works just as well.

This brings up pause-and-go actions.. it’s the same idea, meant to tease and prolong the orgasm. Simply listen to her breath quickening and her moaning getting louder as if she’s going to explode, then simply stop! Start back at the beginning with kissing her inner thighs or gently sucking her lips. If you’re very daring, stick your tongue into her hole and slurp up all the wetness sure to be pouring out. As soon as she starts to beg you to finish, return to the little swollen button and continue where you left off. This will ensure a bigger finish and a very satisfied partner.

Last are speed variation and pressure changes. These are totally up to you and definitely intensify the outcome. Nothing beats going from fast to slow then back to fast. Just as there’s no better feeling than gentle sucking to a hard tongue lashing (sans teeth!). If you’re in the act of dual or triple-penetration using a dildo, try faster and slower thrusts. If you are trying a vibrator, change the speed at the point of anticipated climax. Each of these ‘styles’ will help you become a master of the craft of Cunnilingus.

In closing, we want to always remind you that safe sex is the best sex, so always communicate, get tested, use proper PPE, and be honest with your partner. Oral sex is, by far, one of the greatest gifts, we can both give and receive, so it should be respected, revered, and practiced often. Improving your lip service is something that can take your relationship(s) or your sex-life to the next level for years to come. So, get out there folks and enjoy some fine dining. HolyFour encourages it!