A guide designed to help you understand the perfect sex toy for you, based on your zodiac sign characteristics.

When most people think of zodiac signs and Astrology, they think horoscopes. When a smaller margin of people think of Astrology, they think of birth charts, planet placements, and how that governs the very essence of their being. Then there are the real zodiac geeks (like us), who actually have a personal Astrologer and dig deep into the mystics of the practice. They consult the planets for everything in life, from love to career, to current events. But what absolutely no one thinks of (at least that we know), is that their zodiac sign and characteristics make them sexually suited for certain sex toys! Yep, we said it, your sign has a pleasure device to go with it! Who would’ve thought that those little gadgets that make sex so much more fun, can be perfect for us if we’re careful to select the one best suited for our sign?! Well, we’re here to help you understand which device can enhance your sexual experience and also works well with your personality! So let’s dive in!

Aries

The first sign of the zodiac twelve is Aries; always the leader and just like the sign, Aries likes to be first in everything. But that’s not it, Aries is a very energetic sign with almost and endless amount of energy. That is why Vibrators are the best fit! Vibrators and vibrating massagers were among the first sex toys invented, making them the leaders in sex wellness products. With so many benefits beyond just sexual gratification, vibrators can greatly improve your life on a physical level. The Magic Wand Plus is an awesome place to start, because it’s the original in vibrating massagers, and offers unlimited energy when needed! If you’ve never experienced the vigorous vibrations of this instrument, you are in for a real treat because the orgasms are earth-shattering! The Magic Wand is still the top-grossing sex toy on the market, and for very good reason. So, if you’re an Aries, grab your Magic Wand and make all your dreams come true!

Taurus

Taurus is the second sign of the zodiac, but it comes second to none in practicality and reliability. Taureans often get the wrap for being stubborn and when angry, much like a charging bull, and that is actually why Glass Dildos fit so well with this sign! Glass dildos are reliable and practical, and stubborn? Why, they don’t bend for anything, haha! One of our favorites out there is the Icicles No. 50. Ribbed and textured for that penetrating pleasure you seek, this is sure to bring on the orgasmic fun. It’s also reasonably priced, so you have no reason not to try it out. You legit pay more at Starbucks for a latte, breakfast sammie and snack. So get out there, Taureans, and enjoy a toy that’s just as practical and fun as you.

Gemini

The twins are next in line. Yes, we’re talking to you Gemini! Geminis are well-known for being both sides of the same coin depending on the time you catch them. And that, my friends, is a magnificent feature. Always able to to express different sides of yourself is a real treat. That’s why Geminis pair well with Double Dildos. If you’re unfamiliar with DDs, let us break it down for you.. You get the pleasure of penetrating both holes simultaneously, allowing you to stimulate multiple points of orgasm-inducing sectors. Our number one for you is the King Cock Small Double Trouble. Perfect for you if this is your first time experiencing the joys of dual penetration because you won’t worry of ‘breaking the bank’ or ‘breaking the back’ (is that considered a dad joke?). But here’s where is gets really interesting; true to Gemini nature, the Double Dildo section offers a second type of DD, the kind for sharing! This particular dildo is meant to please two people at once. So again, you Geminis out there can express both sides of the coin by being the giver and the receiver at the same time. Isn’t that awesome?! One of our favorite sharing DDs, is the Translucence 12 Inches Veined Double Dong. Don’t worry about the size because, remember only half of it is for you, haha! So have fun and enjoy that twin energy in your next sexual adventure.

Cancer

The sign of the crab comes after the twins, and yes we mean you, Cancer. Cancers are often emotional and sensitive creatures, but they are also conservative and home-loving beings. Because of your conservativeness, the best group for Cancer, is Discreet Vibrators. Discreet vibrators offer the same immense amount of pleasure, just in a more low-key way. The Original Pocket Rocket gets our top vote for Cancer. It is unmatched in the power it packs for its size, and is smaller than a tampon. Nothing can go wrong with this tiny, but mighty little guy. Much like the ‘velvet hammer’ personality of Cancers, this vibrator is sure to fit the needs of satisfaction and subtlety. So feel free to explore your sexuality and still maintain your dignity.

Leo

«I am a lion[ess], hear me roar!» We all know what sign screams that sentence whenever they enter a room. Yes, yes, the almighty Leo! Everybody loves a Leo (mostly), because their confidence is inspiring and almost mesmerizing. You Leos sure have a way of making yourselves the center of attention. That’s a wonderful thing because the world would be lost without you and your powerful energy. The same way we’d be lost without Vibrating Dildos. The center is definitely given attention when there’s penetration plus vibration. What’s better than a vibrating D all up in there making you squirm and wiggle with delight? For you roaring felines, we think is the Impressions N1 is really going to rock your socks off. It’s smooth, sleek, and powerful. If that doesn’t fit the description, nothing else will. So, we encourage you to reach new heights in sexual gratification with this toy and if you happen to let out a massive «RAWR,» well my work here is done!

Virgo

For the sixth sign of the zodiac we transition from the energy of the very powerful lion to possibly the most delicate and sensitive sign of them all — the Virgo. Just like the virgin that represents this sign, Virgos are often wholesome, nurturing and loving. They are also bound by a sense of duty to serve, that is why the perfect class of toys for you, is the Finger Vibrator. These compact toys, work until the job is done and are here to serve and nurture you sexually. As a Virgo, you might notice that you are often too hard on yourself, as it’s in your nature to do so. But go easy on yourself for a while, with the Yumi Rechargeable Finger Vibe. Nestled between two fingers, you simply cover your most delicate parts, and let the Yumi rapture you away! Hard work from a delicate instrument is the perfect combination for you, my beloved Virgo.

Libra

The second half of the twelve zodiac signs begins with Libra, here to balance things out with fairness, elegance, and beauty. Ruled by Venus, the goddess of love, Libras are everything love and justice should be. That is why Vibrating Strap-ons work well with sign of the scales. Vibrating strap-ons offer a balance of pleasure for both parties involved. Always searching for fairness, you won’t be disappointed with this gadget at is allows you to give and receive while in the throes of passion. And in the name of fairness, you will have just as much fun on either side of Her Royal Harness — The Royal Vibrating Set. At first glance, it seems like your typical harness and strap-on, but upon deeper inspection you’ll see that the dildo has a longer underlying lip that caresses the wearers tender bits and vibrates for that dual pleasure we mentioned earlier. So, whether you’re on the receiving or the giving end, it all balances out.

Scorpios

Sexy Scorpios are the eighth sign of the zodiac, and yes, they are some sexy mofos. Said to be the sexiest of the zodiac (not sure who actually said that), they ooze with sensuality and sex appeal. They’re also considered to be very sexually adventurous. With that being said, we place you sexy stingers with Anal. Now before shoot the messengers, let’s just be honest; if you haven’t done anything anal, you’ve considered it. Take it from us, the orgasm is unexplainable.. in a good way! The ideal toy for you is, hands down, the Eclipse Slender Beads. We love beads because they allow first-timers to play around with different lengths at a time. Oh yea, and these beads vibrate! The sensation of anal-play alone, is enough to make your toes curls, but adding in the vibration changes you in ways you can’t imagine. You’re literally a new person after. So get out there you sexy scorpions and sting your butts with a little anal pleasure. We promise you won’t regret it.

Sagittarius

Adventurous Sagittarius makes their appearance after the scorpions, and most aren’t familiar with this sign unless they know one personally. Sagittarians are curious, (sometime restless) explorers, and often times perfectionists. If you fall under this sign, you’re probably nodding your head right now in the affirmative. Clitoral Vibrators and stimulators are the category for you, Sagittarius. Reason being, is there are so many different types to explore; from sonic suction devices to tongue simulators, there are many toys that provide the good vibes your clit needs. We’ve found the perfect match also, the Suki Rechargeable Sonic Vibe. This little guy is a sucking dream. Designed to engulf your clitoris, then provide a combination of suction and vibration that will send you over the moon (or Jupiter, your ruling planet) with orgasmic bliss. Grab ahold of this handheld blessing and explore a new wave of euphoria.

Capricorn

Following the centaurs, is none other than the infamous Capricorn. We say infamous because Caps are often times referred to as stubborn, pessimistic and melancholy. In reality, they are focused, goal-driven and ambitious, which if you don’t know what they’re working towards, can come off in a negative way. They love structure and order which is why we’ve paired them with Harness and Strap-ons. There’s not much more ‘law and order’ you can get, than with a good ol’ harness and strap. Prime selection for you goal-getters, is the EmEx Active Harness Wear Crotchless Silhouette. What makes the harness different than most others is the secret interior pockets meant to hold bullet vibrators, so that when you’re laying down the law of the D, you’re getting yours too. The harness is exceptionally comfortable as they’re designed to look and fit like a comfy pair of granny panties (don’t lie, you got a few pairs). So gone are the days of a chafing leather harness that rides up your crack with every stroke, unless you like that sort of masochistic feel (ha!). With this harness, you’ll enjoy comfort and pleasure and can focus on the goal of making your partner cum. Have no fear Capricorns, we know you’re a ton of fun under the right circumstances, and with the right gear!

Aquarius

Winding down to the final two signs, we have the eleventh sign Aquarius. This water sign knows how to get wet and stay wet (I know its cheesy, shut up). Aquarians have strong, dominant personalities and are independent and often seek out alone time. That’s why Rabbit Vibrators are the perfect toys for you water babies. No need for help from anyone with this dual action device. The Femme Fun Essenza Thrusting Rabbit Vibe goes exceptionally well with the Aquarius personality, due to its independent nature. Plenty of girth for the G-spot and plenty of pulsation to tickle the bean. This is sure to set your orgasm in motion in no time. Enjoy alone if you must, or make your partner beg to join while giving them your solitary waterworks show. Stay moist aqua friends.

Pisces

Last and certainly not least, we have Pisces. The sign heralding the two fish in the symbol shows the duality of this particular zodiac, but not the duality you would expect. Piscean people have the ability to adapt to any outward environment and are always working hard to better themselves within. That matches perfectly with the Strapless Strap-on family we’ve paired to this sign. With these interments, you are able to influence the outward environment, while working on feeling better inside. Deep inside. We absolutely love the Fantasy for Her: Ultimate Strapless Strap-on for you! Unbound by straps, you are able to feel free while enjoying the duality of both pleasing your partner and yourself, making it a win-win. There’s nothing that beats the satisfaction of killing two birds with one stone, or should we say, two fish with one rod? (That one was actually good lol.) So there you have it, young fishies, the perfect toy to make sex come along swimmingly.

Whew! You made it through probably the best guide for choosing the proper sex toy. Who better to guide you in your everyday sex-capades than the stars themselves?! If you consult them for life, work and love, it shouldn’t be hard to throw love-making in there too, right? Anyway, give our suggestions a try and spread the word about horny astrology, because it’s now a ‘thing’ and it’ll only gain traction from here.

Until next time..