Written by T. Manu
Have you ever played tag with desire and arousal? Chasing both feelings to reach a climax of an intensity you’ve never imagined before to then just let your body explode into an orgasmic feeling you cannot stifle? If not then let’s discuss Foreplay and how this act of playfulness with the human body can do you and your sex life wonders.
What is Foreplay exactly? I wish there was one definition to narrow down to but there isn’t. Foreplay is most known and referred to as playful acts before engaging in sex. Personally, I’ve got to admit that is a very constricted perspective, foreplay is any and everything that you could possibly want it to be. Create a style of play that works for YOU that involves fun filled discovery, what makes your body shake and crave intimacy. Educate yourself by venturing the broad spectrum of Foreplay and its benefits.
Talk Then Play
There is never a wrong in open communication when it comes to your body and emotions. So before you get into it, talk about it. If this is new to you and you don’t even know where to start or what move to “make” first, have that discussion. This will prevent any awkward encounters, boundaries being crossed and discomfort in sexual play. Don’t just assume, ask, some people have never heard of Foreplay let alone tried it or see purpose in it.
What Can Foreplay Do?
A lot of things mentally, emotionally and physically. Some people love foreplay and consider it an essential part of their sex life because without it, arousal is very difficult. Foreplay creates more likelihood for women who don’t have orgasms from penetration. Foreplay can bring individuals emotionally and mentally closer and feel each other on a deeper level through playful experiences prior to sexual engagement. Foreplay lets you slow down the pace and really get to learn your body and your partner’s body to create more and better opportunities for satisfaction and pure pleasure.
Foreplay + Orgasms
Foreplay can become your best friend if you are searching for amazing orgasms or to simply add “that spark” to your sex life. Of course there is a lot that can be discussed in orgasms itself but let’s lean more into the correlation to our topic, Foreplay. Some men, women, non-binary, and or LGBTQ+ individuals struggle to get aroused let alone have an orgasm. The reasons can vary from not enough intimacy, foreplay, attention to wants and needs and or maybe their bodies take a little longer to warm up than “usual”. Which is fine and human and that is why Foreplay exists, to help bring intensity and excitement to life, to your life. It is important to really focus on mind stimulation and matching each other’s energy frequencies before diving head first into physical touch. When you’re boiling water, does it feel the fire right away and react? Or does it take awhile? Think of your own body and others like that. Just because movements are being made and playful acts are presented does not mean the body will immediately react and register. Slow it down, give yourself some space to get aroused.
Foreplay Minus The Fore
Foreplay can look like a lot of fun and connection on a deeper and more playful level. Pay attention to each body part and don’t rush things. When you add Foreplay into your life you open up comfortable spaces to test newness out on your body, in your body and vice versa to whomever you are engaging playful acts with. Does gentle touch send chills not only down your spine but take your breath away? Give a feather tickler a try and let it coast the curves of your body. Maybe communication during sex gets you going? Try dirty talk, demands, requests or whispering to one another. Eargasms are a thing people. How confident are you in knowing all your sensitive spots on your body? Because I promise you no matter how confident you are a vibrator will prove you otherwise. Use a high vibration mode to find all the hidden places that make your body quiver. Play with each other in public, in text, over the phone, be conspicuous, hidden notes, at dinner under the table, in the shower, wherever. Don’t feel like playing with each other the entire duration? That’s fine. Maybe playing with yourself for each other will heighten your guys sexual arousal. Queers and women, vibrators and handheld dildos like the B Yours Cock Vibe 2 can feel good and look good while stimulating yourself in foreplay. Men, find yourself some hard fun with a sex toy like the Cyberskin Release. Mutual masturbation is a Foreplay act that will make you both control your desires to touch each other. That itself can sky rocket sexual tension and create a beautiful steamy sex ride.
Where/when Do I Foreplay?
Behind closed closets or open because judgement does not exist here. Take your sexual fantasies, wants and needs to the bedroom, kitchen, grocery store or keep it face to face or over the phone. Your play begins wherever you want it to and it stops whenever you want to. The neat thing about foreplay is that there is no time restriction or expectation unless you set one. It can be right before sexual pleasure is engaged with or it can be days before, weeks, even to months. Sometimes no sexual engagement is to follow; it’s just one big game of thrill.
Body Response To Playful Acts
Make room for intimacy if you haven’t seen them in some time. Intimacy doesn’t always exist and a lot of it is because time isn’t given to find or create it. As humans we naturally produce stress hormones and luckily there are tons of ways to maintain and lower them. Foreplay triggers multiple physical responses that increases your euphoria and affection. It will wake up your body, increase your heart rate and blood pressure. Every part of you will remind you of itself, breasts and penis enlargement, sensitivity around nipples and genitals. Your body will literally send you messages that it is wanting and craving affection and pleasure, so listen to it.
What’s The Point
If you or your partner are not mentally and emotionally stimulated without physical touch then you should definitely consider giving foreplay a shot. Foreplay creates both physiological and physical sparks that create one big blast off to wonderland. It can really shift your enitre sexual experiences and sex drive. Many people think foreplay is strictly for women and it is not, it is for everyone.
Think Outside The Bedroom
Everything doesn’t have to occur in one place. Sure it can wind down into a bedroom setting but it doesn’t have to pregame, start, finish and end in the bed. Let your creative juice flourish. Maybe your partner just read you a page or two of poetry in a small bookstore and kissed your neck after she closed the book. Maybe you and your girlfriend just flirted with each other the entire grocery store trip and you whispered to her that the groceries are not the only thing getting placed on the kitchen counter when you get home. Maybe you and your boyfriend are long distanced and you just spent two hours telling each other step by step what you want when you see each other in person. Maybe you’re sitting on a bed staring at the NYC city night life and your partner walks out in lingerie you bought them and you tell them to come closer so you can feel it. Foreplay is to be fun and unknown to society but known to you. Mutual electrifying anticipation.
Mental Connection For Better Sexual Affection
When was the last time you touched your partner(s)? Not physically but mentally? Emotionally? It seems as though society is so quick to take the “easy route” to all things. Especially when the end result is satisfaction. Why is it that we rush human pleasure and limit what is normalized in sexual excitement. Why is that, to many in order to be stimulated you need to have someone inside of you? Or physically near you? If your partner sat in an empty room alone on a bed with no toys, no hands, no you, no porn, no nothing could you still touch them in a way they can walk out that room aroused and wet? Get your mind thinking. Foreplay can help you learn so much about someone and yourself. See how far you both can go without actually going all the way.
Have you ever tried edging? Edging is another great seat to get comfortable on besides your partners face. Edging is both persons engaging with each other fully with no penetration. Just kissing, rubbing, touching, breathing, talking, etc. Soft and slow. Both persons get each other aroused and worked up entirely to the edge of getting off and then the play is stopped and rewinded to the beginning. You are probably thinking what? That sounds so frustrating and it can be but in an intense sexy way that makes you want them even more. So you keep going and start playing with each other some more and everything gets hotter and stronger and the orgasm to follow will be mind blowing and worth it.
Do The Unexpected
Relive your best moments together or make some of your best moments together. Let loose and melt into each other’s hands. Take your foreplay outside of the house or light it up with some candles at home. Act out a fantasy of yours or play around until you discover one. Find sexiness in vulnerability and expressionism. Tease each other like no other or act like strangers and meet up in a random bar. Do what you’ve never done before and do what you’ve always dreamt of trying out but never did. Find a new glow in yourself. Having a fun, exciting and adventurous sex life can make some huge differences in all things so go give Foreplay a try.