Fantasy often involves imagining things that are impossible or improbable, but not anymore.
Can you remember your first sexual fantasy? Most of us had very active imaginations as kids, because that’s what makes you a kid, your wild imagination. But when we crossed the threshold of puberty, our imaginative minds shifted from GI Joes and Barbies, to Joey and Barbara from our neighborhoods. We imagined getting married and having kids, but mostly we fantasized about sex. Sexual activities to be exact. Kissing and touching, hugging and rubbing, and so on and so forth. What would it be like if Johnny grabbed my butt? What do Janet’s lips taste like? As teenagers we fantasized for hours about kids in our peer group and what sex could or would be like if we just had the chance. Some of us even daydreamed about sex with older kids and sex with our teachers. As adolescents, we got lost in our fantasies to escape our boring, abusive, or stressful lives. Then we grew up. What ever became of those fantasies? Did we just tuck them away in a compartment of our brains to never resurface again? Absolutely not.
Is it normal?
In an article in Psychology Today, it’s stated that fantasizing is totally normal. We fantasize to entertain, distract, and arouse. Creativity is oftentimes sparked by fantasy and you can actually become clear about a plan-of-action after fantasizing about what it is you actually want. So what about sexual fantasies? Are we weird for always wanting to be raped? Is there something odd about us if we imagine hitting our partner during sex because sadism turns us on? Nope! I’m here to tell you that even your darkest daydreams are totally normal. They may seem strange, or even scare you, but they are totally common.
Now you may be thinking, but what about the sexual fantasies? And don’t you worry, those are normal too! The article in PT states, “The human mind is sexual, creative, and exploratory, and fantasizing is one way people satisfy their sexual needs and wants.” So if you pictured your pastor’s naked body on top of yours as they gave the Sunday sermon, don’t trip, it’s normal and you’re not possessed by the devil. In fact, some of the most common sex fantasies include orgies, BDSM, public sex and gender-bending situations. So letting the mind venture and explore the taboo sexual world, is in fact, normal.
Are my fantasies safer in my head?
Some people are doers just as much as they are thinkers. If you’ve found this article, you’re no doubt a doer. But linking the imaginations of your mind to your reality may seem like a big task. It’s not! As long as everyone involves gives consent, go ahead and play out those scenes you’ve pictured in your head for an incredible way to enhance your sexual experience. For example, if you have always shared an interest in whips, chains, restraints, gags, floggers, nipple clamps and chokers with a co-worker, it might be fair to say you would have a great time exploring these items with them. Or maybe you have a group of friends and you’re all very open when it comes to sex, it could be beneficial to the group to explore what group sex is like. Kissing a friend while another massages your butthole with a Magic Wand might just be what your life needed! After all, sometimes you don’t know what you like until it’s inside you.
Gender bending is HUGE. There’s nothing more taboo than for a straight male to desire his prostate be tickled by an anal stimulator or for a lesbian woman to have a man insert a G-spot vibrator into her wetness. It’s becoming more and more common for people everywhere to abandon gender-norms for sake of fantasy role-play. It doesn’t make the straight people any more gay nor does it make the gays any more straight — because you’re acting out a fantasy. We act every single day of our lives, whether its in front of our parents, our kids, our friends, or our neighbors, we all shift what we say and do to fit a role in certain scenarios. Gender-bending is exactly that. And only those of us willing to risk the supposed shame of being exposed, will reap the orgasmic rewards of this forbidden love-making.
Public sex been on your mind? Me too. Take it out of your head and put it into action! I’m not saying you should grab your partner and go at it on a park bench, you’d both end up in jail, gender-bending. Try crawling before you walk and grab a wearable vibe with remote control and have a nice orgasm in the office, while others work around you none the wiser. Talk about a fantasy fulfilled! There are plenty of ways to ‘skin a cat’ and when you explore the many available discreet sex toys, you’ll have fun taking sex to the next level while there’s a crowd around.
We have only one life to live. However you decide to live it is one hundred percent your choice. I would strongly urge you to make the sexual part of your life as fulfilling as possible — whatever that means to you. If you’ve often had a fantasy about trying something alone or with a partner, there’s no better time to try it than the present. With an arsenal of sex toys, lubes, sanitizers, cleaning methods and information to educate yourself, exploring your sexual fantasies has never been simpler. To orgasms and beyond!