If you’re like me, you have at least one dildo in your sex drawer that goes unused and untouched. But why? Don’t you know there are sex-less people around the world that would be grateful for the piece of silicone we nonchalantly toss aside and forget about! But the reason is simple, it just doesn’t fit. In some way, shape or form (and I use those terms very literally), the dildo just doesn’t fit our lives and lifestyles. Wouldn’t it have been wonderful if, before we purchased the discarded phallus, someone had taught us how to pick the perfect dildo for our collection. If someone had told us about size, texture, material, function, and all the things that make dildos special, before we purchased, we might be using one hundred percent of our penetrating pieces.

Well, I might be too late to save you from wasting precious dildos, but I will help you to never do that again. In today’s blog, we’re going deep haha. We’ll talk about the look, the feel, the size, the function, and even the color of your next pseudo-cock so that you feel your absolute best and most confident, when clicking “checkout” on our site. Confident that you have the right size to fill you up, the right shape to hit the spots, the right functionality to give you multiple orgasms, and the right material to make clean up and storage a breeze for you.

Catcher’s Choice

Okay, so I have always felt that this goes without saying, but whoever is receiving the cock, should be the one to decide on the final pick. Many times I’ve heard (and in my young sexual life I was guilty of this too) that couples everywhere are having dildo problems and it all comes from one thing: the “catcher” or receiver, not being a part of the selection process. Riddle me this, Holy fam, but would you buy a car just because someone else test-drove it and said it drove wonderfully? No. It’s simple, if the car is for you, then you need to drive it, and see it, and handle it. Something that is for you, should always have your input or you could have a huge flop.

People all over the world, listen to me.. Stop shopping for your next dildo by yourself if you’re not using it alone! As long as there are two (or more) people involved in your sexual exploits, you need to have both (or everyone) involved in the purchase! You, imagining fucking your partner with the largest, most girthy rod you can find, might not be your partner’s idea of a fun night. Same goes for this pre-planning purchasing; that’s another way to send dildos to the graveyard. Start by waiting until you have someone to fuck, then browsing and researching together on what seems fitting before making your final purchase.

Realistic or nah?

It’s widely known that the biggest group of purchasers of dildos are women, some straight, but mostly lesbians. (The reason is obvious AF: men already have dicks and don’t generally like that kind of competition.) So the topic of how realistic the dildo should be, can come up. You need to know what you like and what your partner likes and make a compromise. If you, or your partner is into the realistic style, there are definitely pros to that choice. Biologically the male and female parts are designed to feel certain ways when they are conjunct, so using a realistic dildo is going to have a very natural look, but more importantly a natural feel. Take our Cyberskin Real Man Wide Load, for example. It has everything you’d want out of a penis, minus the man. Same for our King Cock Plus Triple Density 5 Inch Cock; it offers the look, the feel, the shape, and it’s an excellent combination of strength and pliability.

But some of you aren’t into the realistic thing, right? For some, the word ‘penis’ alone invokes feelings that they’d much rather not experience, and that’s absolutely fine. There’s no rule that states you must use a realistic dildo, if you’re going to emulate one in bed. You might instead try some of our realistic dildos that look the part, but not all the way.. Take the Pipedream Dillio 6” we have in stock; it has all but one natural effect — it’s color! Sometimes all it takes to make the difference for some, is to change the color. There are plenty of colors in the rainbow and our Au Natural – Bold – Pound – 8.5 Inch Dildo also has a few of them to offer. This is where the real meets the bold, giving you the authentic sensation but in strikingly colorful fashion. The Avant – D15 – Vision of Love is yet another one that feels the part, but has enough colors to paint a mural.

If changing the color doesn’t quite do the trick for you, there are still ways to go about finding the perfect dildo. There are many non-realistic dildos you can choose from that will give you the same sensations and orgasms, but look a lot less like a real man’s ding-dong. The Avant – D2 – Purple Rain will surely reach all of your pleasure points and fill you up with that lovely penetrating pressure. It doesn’t have the grooves and veins of the realistic ones we listed earlier, but will surely allow you to reach maximum pleasure regardless.

Cliff notes: if you are really into the real feel of skin and don’t mind the look of a penis, the realistic section might just be fore you. If real is too real for you, try one with a bright color to make you feel a little more disconnected from the dick. Remember to check out our sizing section later in the blog for how to pick the best size for yourself and/or partner!

Glass, you say?

Dicks are coming in all sorts of materials, and have been for years. One of my favorites is glass! Glass dildos are a great choice to me, simply because of temperature. There’s no material out there (for dildos) that conforms to the body’s own temperature quite like the glass does. Almost instantly upon insertion, it goes from zero to a hunnid real quick. I remember dating a woman who had only been with men before me, and her biggest complaint during sex was that the dick felt too cold. There was warmth missing from between her legs, and who could blame her for noticing. Resourceful as I am, I remember heating my silicone dildo for her under hot water, but wondering if there was some better way. After researching and asking friends in the lezbo community, I was told to use a glass dildo with her. She loved it.. but we still broke up lol.

Glass dildos can be an acquired taste for some, though. They can be too rigid with zero flexibility, they are extremely fragile and must be handled with care, and most don’t work with harnesses (which can be a deal breaker for some couples). But aside from that, if you have the opportunity to come into possession of one, you’ll never forget it. Having the strong, sturdy, warm, slippery (did we mention you don’t need lube for these!) glass piece thrust inside you over and over again, is enough to make you forget silicone was even a thing. One of our favorites is the Icicles No 55.

Cliff notes: if you are into the warm, hard, slippery ride, the glass dildo section might be for you! Keep in mind, most aren’t compatible with harnesses and need to carefully be stored and handled. Remember to check out our sizing section later in the blog for how to pick the best size for yourself and/or partner!

Double Trouble

Here we are going to discuss the wonderful invention of double dildos. Quite frankly, if you haven’t experienced the joy and fulfillment you get from being stuffed twice, you really should. Anyway, dual penetration works in a couple of ways; you can be penetrated in two holes by two cocks or you and your partner can share the same double-sided dildo for a dual orgasm. Double dildos aren’t for beginners IMO, simply because you have to acquire a certain level of experience with these devices to avoid doing damage to someone you care about. For those of you that are experienced with dildos and strap-on situations, I recommend picking your first double based on size! You want to get something that’s not too small and tease, too large and need ease, but just right—to please.

With the King Cock Triple Density Double Penetrator 9.5 Inch, you have a realistic device that is meant to give one person a very enjoyable experience, twice. It’s also harness compatible so that’s a plus. Totally on the flip side of function, is the Crystal Jellies Jr. Double Dong 12 Inch, meant to please two people, at once. It boasts a realistic feel while having a translucent pale pink color to please you and your plus one.

Cliff notes: double dildos are a great addition to your dildo collection but are not for beginners. Choose a double dildo according to size if it’s your first one. Make sure you are exercising caution when implementing a double dildo into your sexual repertoire. Remember to check out our sizing section later in the blog for how to pick the best size for yourself and/or partner!

Vibration Penetration!

Vibrations aren’t just meant for those little pocket sized clit stimulators, they are also for dildos. Yup! If you didn’t know, I’m telling you now that there exists in the world, vibrating dildos. Imagine adding vibrational sensations to an already stimulating sex toy, and you’ve got the right idea for vibrating dildos. Along with the pleasure of having your walls stroked and your G-spot activated, a vibrating dildo adds the extra arousal of senses to deliver the full package orgasm.

There are realistic, realistic shaped but brightly colored, non-realistic, and harness compatible vibing dildos, to be sure you get the look and feel you’re after. One of our favorites is the Impressions – N1 – Black because it’s sleek, has ten function pattern and speed combinations, is equipped with three ridges in the design for G-spot or prostate stimulation, and is harness compatible for partnered play. This one really is the one-stop-shop for dildos that vibe.

Cliff notes: vibrating dildos are an exciting way to add some extra spice to your dildo play life. They are an exceptional addition to your dildo collection, just be sure to check specifics on the one you’re eyeing. Remember to check out our sizing section later in the blog for how to pick the best size for yourself and/or partner!

Sizing Guide

Length: when deciding on the length of your next dildo, there are a few things to consider. What’s the longest instrument of pleasure you or your partner has ever received? What length have you or your partner experienced that was uncomfortable (if ever)? What length do you or your partner anticipate will be a good fit? If the longest dildo your partner has experienced was a 5 inch cock, you definitely don’t want to jump them up to 8 inches right way! Crawl before you walk, because you always want these experiences to be pleasant and encouraging of the next one. Once you’ve answered those questions, I believe it’s time to choose a length, then move on to width or girth (how wide the dildo stretches you open).

Width: width or girth is something most people disregard or forget about completely when choosing a dildo. It mustn’t be forgotten! One of my out-of-commission dildos is where it is, because of this issue. Width matters when it comes to the feel of the device inside. When it’s too thin, the sensation can feel a bit stabbing. When it’s too thick, the overpowering feeling of pressure and sometimes pain can be a little discouraging. But my my, when the width is just right, you get the type of rapturous pleasure that you can’t find anywhere else. I would measure width using fingers to start; how many fingers can you or your partner take while still feeling pleasured, and how many before it’s uncomfortable? Once you have your answer there, you can measure fingers for inches to match your shopping specifications.

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So there yo have it folks, the long, the short, the wide and the vibrating. When choosing the perfect dildo remember to include your partner—especially if they’ll be receiving— in the selection process, think about how realistic you might want it, consider the function and stimulation you prefer, and then keep in the forefront of your mind the SIZE of your next dildo. I sure hope this has been informative and helpful. Happy humping!

Until next time..